Episode 256

Newborns sleeping and eating behavior.

I truly want a dollar for every mom who tells me that she is breastfeeding all night and all day. She states that there is about 5 hours total in every 24 hour day, that she is not feeding her baby.

I felt like This was my life too so I can totally understand it. As an IBCLC though I have to figure out how accurate is this? The last mom, Emily that sent me an email about this… well I had to figure out how accurate this info really was. If her baby truly was breastfeeding 19 hours a day, we had a huge problem. I know it may feel like this, but is this really what is happening?

Let’s start with what an average 24 hours is like when breastfeeding a newborn.
Please remember I am talking averages.

Your newborn will feed about 7-9 times a day. Let’s go with 8 If each feeding takes about an hour, this would be average. Between transferring milk at the breast, and diaper changes and burping and dressing, you can easily add on another 1/2 hour to each feeding sessions.

So, if you are with me this would equal 8 hours of actual feeding time. 4 hours of actual diaper, burp, changing times. We are up to 12 hours a day between just breastfeeding your baby.

Many babies, although content and with a full belly, do not necessarily like being put down and frequently need some cuddling time before they fall asleep. Sometimes it is as, sometimes they can’t get that burp out, other times we don’t have a good enough answer for them not being able to just settle down and be calm. I would say that all this equals to another 4 hours a day.

This means that if we add up the 8 hours, plus the 4 hours of diaper changing burping, plus the additional 4hours of “I don’t know what my baby wants, but I will just hold her to keep her calm. This all adss up to 16 hours. 16 hours a day that you have your arms filled with baby love. Yes, this mom thing is hard & exhausting!

Somewhere in there is usually about 8 hours of sleeping which is usually broken up throughout the 24 hour period. If your baby feeds less time, fusses less and sleeps longer that is fine.

I know how this all sounds. When I frame it in this way to new parents, they feel over whelmed and often think: Not me. They plan for and hope for a baby that feeds for a half hour, every 3 hours and goes to sleep within a half hour of feeding. While there baby might have a little gas and be a little fussy, this only lasts for a few minutes after each feeding. Where does this put you? Well, about 10 hours of baby care and 14 hours of sleep. This is a far cry from my other scenario of 16 hours of baby care.

Which baby will you have? What will your life be like? I have no idea, however, I can tell you that some of you will probably fall somewhere in between both scenarios. I can also tell you that you should be prepared for the 16 hour scenario because if this is you and your are not mentally prepared for this, you will really be blown away and you are less likely to prepare for this.

I know that about right now you are thinking that I am just a crazy person. Giving you the absolute worst case scenario that hardly happens to any new mom.

I know that you are thinking. 16 hours? I work 8 – 10 hours a day 5 days a week now and I am exhausted.
I get it. I totally get it. But I am telling you , this new motherhood thing… is an absolute joy and it is a lot of hard work.

If you think I am crazy and you do not believe me, please, please attend a local La Leche League Group or local hospital breastfeeding mothers group. Whether it is in this group or perhaps some friends of yours who recently gave birth… ask them what an average day was like with their newborn the first 6 weeks. Ask them how much sleep they got. How many hours a day they spent feeding their baby.

I bet at least half of them will describe something similar to my 16 hour a day scenario.

You have a baby growing inside you. You cannot go back. You cannot change your mind.

What can you do? Prepare. Prepare. Prepare.