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Episode 69 Bonus episode for Fathers Day 2016
Welcome to AAB, the place where the girls hang out. This is Lori Jill Isenstadt, IBCLC
I am recording this on Thursday, June 16th, 2016 Father’s Day is this weekend and I am quite sentimental about this day of celebration.
I love my Daddy. He passed away a few years ago and I am sad that this will be another year that I can’t give him a big hug and wish Him a Happy Father’s Day. Another year has passed and I think of all that he has missed. All the great things his kids and grandkids have accomplished this year. I know that he is proud for that I am sure. But I do miss seeing his face, beaming with pride with love for his kids and grandkids. I hold him close during my everyday life and he travels with us to all the important life events, and yet, it is still not the same as getting a big Bear Hug from my Daddy. I wish I knew the day that he was going to die, I would have made it a point to say: I love you, just one more time! And yet, I know he knew that I loved him and I know for sure that he loved me unconditionally, and from this point on, that will always have to be good enough.
One of my funniest memories I have of my Father’s response to my breastfeeding is when he hung out with me one day shortly after Alisha, my first baby was born.
He came into my apartment and he wanted to hold Alisha and I remember my mother saying… in a while,, can’t you see she is breastfeeding her. And my father was like, Oh,, it just looks like she is sleeping in her arms. Ummm, no Daddy, Mommy is right, she is breastfeeding.
To which my father starts going on this whole thing where he is having these light bulb moments about being around other women who were probably breastfeeding and he just thought they were holding a sleeping baby. At one point he turned to my mother and said: Remember that mother on our last flight to Vegas and I commented on how good her baby was and how long she just slept in her arms? And my mother said yes… And my father said, with a twinkle in his eye – I bet she was breastfeeding her baby. Then he started to recount numerous other times he may have been in the presence of a breastfeeding mom and did not realize it.
this was all of such an interest to him because I don’t think he was ever around mothers who breastfed and he thought I was the only one, coming out of left field, as my mother had 5 kids and did not breastfeed, nor did any of her peers or family members and my father was surrounded by many family and friends in his daily life, who had kids and Noone breastfed. He was a guy, who loved breasts. Nothing wrong with that. But the thought of him missing out on this realization that breastfeeding could have been going on & he did not even know about that. Well, that was quite intriguing to him!
Before I say what I am going to say next, I want to be very clear that I know that we need for more woman to be breastfeeding in public and I don’t really care whether she covers up or not. Breastfeeding should happen however, she feels comfortable doing so, wherever she feels comfortable doing so. I breastfed wherever and whenever and while others might have thought something negative, noone ever said anything to me and I certainly never got kicked out of any place. I do remember a few family members saying to me at one , the point or another: You are not going to breastfeed in Temple today Are you? During Yom Kippur service? And I was like,,, well if she is hungry I am. And that was that!
I do think a lot about why such a stink is being made about woman breastfeeding in public in recent years. I continue to scratch my head and of course think – I just don’t get the big deal? And why do you care anyway? And just look the other way for goodness sake? But, I also have wondered why it was not such a big deal many years ago when I was nursing my kids? Why wasn’t I harrassed and kicked out and rediculed my family, friends, store owners, other people in public,, because believe me, I was like that Dr. Suess poem.. I nursed, here, there and everywhere… any place I went… the bank, the library, the park, the bagel store, the bowling alley, the movie theatre, the pizza place, the pool, the parents house, the in-laws, the farmers market,,, wherever. I do tell the story of my first nursing in public experience when my first baby was a newborn. You can go back to Episode #5 and listen to it. From that time on, I never thought twice about nursing in public and between all 3 kids, I nursed many years
I realize that when I was nursing my kids, we did not really have the greatest of nursing clothes. or bras. Nothing like the really cool stuff we have now. I mean, if they had nursing tanks when I was a nursing mom, I probably would have owned 1 in every color. I love nursing tanks. And the bras we have now… I had literaly 2 bras to choose from, they were sold at Penny’s and they felt like I had on a suit of armor. so, most days I wore a regular bra and a shirt that was 1 size larger. I would stick my hand under my shirt, pull the bottom of my bra up over my breast and pull up my shirt to latch the baby on. In doing so, just a hint of breast tissue could be seen. My babies body covered my stomach area and my shirt would fall loosely over the whole top portion of my breast. So, very little could be seen. I never used a blanket or cover or shawl. So, I realized that this is different than the really cool nursing bras and tanks that are common now and different than a lot of shirts that are made now, rather than pull from the top down, I lifted from the bottom up. Perhaps there was less to do about NIP, it was because only 25% of mothers were breastfeeding at the time and because of style of the bras and clothes we wore, we didn’t show much, if any breast tissue. Thinking about all this out loud, always just gets me crazy.
In the last 5 years or so, there has been a major increase in stories where mothers are getting harrassed about NIP and it just drives me insane. And yet, there are as many mothers who are saying: well tough boogies.. that is there problem and I am going to feed my baby wherever and whenever. I smile when I think about how many woman are walking around with their babies, NOT buying into public pressure and feeding their babies now wherever and whenever their babies are hungry. I smile because it makes me happy that more and more mothers are not staying home isolated and buckling under the pressure of those people who think we should not breastfeed wherever they are. I smile whenever I look at the cartoon I have post the picture on my Facebook page, that shows a woman nursing in public and someone making a stink out of it and wanting to give her a blanket to cover herself and the mom takes the blanket and puts it over the offending persons head. Here, it bothers you,,, then put a blanket over your head! HAHA I love that one. And lastly, I smile, because I often think…. what would my Father say about all these lovely moms nursing their babies in public.,… where he could clearly see some breast tissue and clearly know what they were doing. I hope that he would smile at the beautiful sight and say: YUP. That;s what they were made for!
If you want to see a few Family Pictures, check out the show notes for todays episode.
If you want to join in or start a conversation about all things related to breastfeeding, come and join my Facebook page. The link is in todays show notes and if you like all you need to do is search for All About Breastfeeding Community in Facebook and click that link that says JOIN!
Have a wonderful Father’s Day Everyone. And to all the breastfeeding moms who are happily breastfeeding in public places, keep on keepin on! Until the next show,,, bye bye
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