Episode 56

Lori talks In a very weird and sick and twisted way, I am very excited to have received my first bad review.

Why? Because it is inevitable.

Let’s face it.  Bad reviews are inevitable. If you ever put yourself out there for the public and be transparent and then ask for reviews.  It’s going to happen.  Anyone who tells you they  never received a bad review, well, personally, I suspect they are lying. So, let’s just admit to it.

Why?   Because I get to get it out of the way and move on.

I spent the first few months, biting my nails, just waiting for those bad reviews to come rolling in.  While this did not happen and while I did not think they were really going to come rolling in… thankfully I had lots more faith in my podcast than that, I was realistic and figured there were going to be a few people who just were not like what I was doing…. and I was going to have to just deal with it and hopefully learn from it.  And like knowing that thunderstorm is coming, you just want it to come and just get it out of your system so that you can get it over with and move on.

Why?   Because it might give me insight as to any changes I  needed to make.  Tell me what I was doing that was annoying or off base.

Reviews are feedback about how you are doing, and because I am working in a vacuum, I am desperate for feedback, honest feedback, from people who are not family or friends. As any business owner knows, when you are building a business, you are quite green when you start.  You need to spend some time in the trenches, feel your way around and constantly work at making it better.

You know getting feedback from loved ones telling you:  Great job.  Good voice. Good Speech.  Good whatever.  While you believe them for the most part, you are just not sure if they are holding anything back… because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.

Most people who are giving feedback and can be anonymous, again hopefully they are being truthful, but they typically do not care about hurting your feelings.

I am going to tease you a bit right about now and tell you that the bad review was about Episode # which I talked about Sleep Deprivation and New Motherhood. I shared my personal experience with being so sleep deprived that I truly lost my ability to function well during the day.

Podcasting is very interesting in that, I am my own boss.  This means that I am operating somewhat alone.  Much different than working in an office with a boss to report to.  If I enjoyed my workplace and felt my boss was fair and I got along well with my co-workers, I actually liked getting evaluations.  A fair and honest critique of the job that I was hired to do.  This meant I could learn things that would make me better. It might also mean that I was given more duties to learn so that I could widen my knowledge base.

Whatever the circumstances, I actually do like evaluations.  In the podcasting world, we ask for reviews from our listeners. It is best if they are constructive critique and comments from people who are actually listening and watching what I am doing. There is a huge learning curve in podcasting and reviews will help me know what course to take.  What to keep doing, give up doing, change.   How else am I going to know if what I am doing is working and is working well?  Perhaps I think something is a great idea and carry on as such,, and lo and behold find out, years later that something I was doing was irking them?  Or I was sooo much on the wrong track. Reviews help keeps me on my toes. Of course, after each good review, I smile from ear to ear the whole day.  I mean who does not like getting that pat on the back and being told they are doing a good job?

Getting a bad review isn’t always bad.  Sometimes, it can be a learning experience.   It also needs to come from a place of honestly and truth.  Is this a legitimate complaint or comment?   Can I  realistically do something about it?  If someone is going to complain about my accent, I am not a trained actor and probably cannot do anything about that,  at least not without a lot of work.  so, this would be unrealistic.   Maybe someone feels I say breast or breastfeeding or nipples too many times each show.  Well, this is also unrealistic since it is a show about breastfeeding.  Tell me the volume is way too loud.  Tell me the monologues are not interesting and offer some topics of interest.

What was the bad review?  Who was it and what did they say?

Well, it is from Prosinger 1 who is from Britain. I have no idea who this is and that is okay. I don’t need to know who it is from.

Here is what Prosinger did say:

“Just listened to the sleep deprivation episode of this podcast and was appalled to hear her talk extensively and recommend driving around until your baby falls asleep then leaving them in the car while you go to your apartment to take a nap!! Firstly advice on car seats is not to leave an infant in there for long periods as they are at higher risk of SIDS not to mention leaving them unattended in a shared parking area- is she crazy?! If you’re new to motherhood please don’t take this woman’s advice on these things!!!”

This was from Episode #37  which was titled Sleep Deprivation. Now, the first thing is to just think logically about this.In this day and age of free range parenting style getting called on the carpet for letting their kids play in a fenced in backyard while mom is in the house doing chores or parents getting into trouble for letting their kids walk a mile to school, does anyone really think that I would get on a podcast, that is listened to internationally and not only admit but brag about how I left my baby in the car for hours alone and walked away?  Putting this aside… here are my next thoughts.

If she were right in what she wrote, I would be freaking out myself too. At first I felt the need to defend myself,,, in a very big way. And then I realized,  guess what Lori.  you don’t even need to do that. Just tell people to listen to that particular podcast and they will know you never said such things. I do have to say, I was a bit paranoid and even second guessed  myself. I even went back and listened to the show so I could assure myself I was not insane. Isn’t it crazy how we can allow someone else to do that to us??

You will never hear me say that I drove around until Alisha fell asleep and then left her in the car while I went to my apartment to take a nap. I did tell a whole story that led up to why I finally took to driving around with Alisha in the car to help her fall asleep.You will not hear me talk about how I left her alone in the car, while I went back into my apartment. She also mentioned that leaving a baby sleeping in a car seat puts them at higher risk for SIDS.Well, I would certainly love for her to share this research. And I am hoping this research shows what kind of car seat and how long a baby can be sleeping in a car seat before they are at risk. If this is true, that means that any mother who drives her baby in the car and her baby falls asleep is putting her baby at risk for SIDS.

How long do they need to be sleeping, that the risk for SIDS goes up. Are parents not to take their kids for a long car ride…. like on vacation or something. Typically, a young baby, if given the right time of day and a full belly, will sleep for hours if you are driving a long distance. And what about babies who are sleeping for hours in their swings or bouncy chairs or other items?

I never, ever, ever, once stated that I left her alone in a shared parking area.

But that is what Prosinger claimed I did. Prosinger took some of the things I talked about and put them waaaaaaaaay out of context.

Soo, yes, my first bad review, is a really, really bad and awful review.  And yet, I am disappointed a bit. This was not an honest review as it was full of lies. was not a constructive review either.So, in essence, I am still waiting for that honestly bad review, just so I can get it outta my system and then move on with it!

Now, believe me, I don’t want you to think I am begging you to send in a bad review. I would be the happiest podcaster alive if all I received was great reviews. Feel free to send them in, in droves. Just letting you know, though, you can count on this:  You can count on me coming back here, taking up a bit of air space to share with you the first bad review I get.  I would love to share it with my listeners. Talk about it, get feedback.

Wait a minute, something just happened to kick into my thought process.  A little voice saying:Lori, Lori,  don’t leave on this note. At least leave with reading a few of your latest positive reviews.Okay, I am always telling moms to listen to that little voice inside you.  Pay attention as it is smart.

So, hear you go little voice:I love that Lori gives advice to all moms?  Those who have struggled with breastfeeding and those who have had smooth sailing.  All with no judgement, but lots of fun.  Thank you Lori for creating such a safe and supportive  place.  Being a mom is hard work and you make it a little easier.  Thank you Heather Ryan for this wonderful review.  Heather has a fabulous company called Safety in the City and she helps women  and girls learn self defense.

This is a must listen for moms, moms-to-be and dads too.  Lori has such a gentle way of drawing out helpful stories and advice from her guests about breastfeeding and other parenting related topics. Vicki Maris is an expert in developing online courses.

Contact info: allaboutbreastfeeding.biz/contact ,    Facebook