Her Story.

Her bio:

Short bio to use to introduce you: Debra has an extensive background in the health sciences. In 1985 she obtained a B.S. in Nutritional Sciences from Cornell University and became a Registered Nurse in Israel in 1988. Debra is a graduate of the UC San Diego Lactation Consultant program and works as an IBCLC at the Good Samaritan Hospital Breastfeeding Support Group in San Jose and runs her own private consultant practice in the Silicon Valley area. The name of her business is Los Gatos Lactation.

Debra believes assisting mothers in their breastfeeding journey is extremely meaningful and rewarding work. She hopes to reach out and help as many new families as she can to make their transition to parenthood a little smoother, and give their babies the best start possible.

Her background:

She has a younger sister of father real estate broker and her mom was a school teacher and homemaker. She went to college in Ithaca, NY where she studied nutrition and She then went to Israel where she met her husband in Israel, then they moved back to the states. Since her husband was a mechanical engineer they thought they should move to Silicone Valley so he can get a job. She thought about becoming a midwife but when she learned that she would have to work the night shift, she realized this was not going to work because I have never been good without getting a lot of sleep. Debra became a home health nurse, and when her baby was 4 months old she went on an interview. She leaked during that interview, realized she was not ready to go back to work. The funny thing is thought that this interview happened at the hospital where she is now working – 25 years later.

Debra first had an internship at the hospital that she now works at. One day, her mentor Patricia Bonasera gave her the keys to the breastfeeding pillow close in August of 2017 and she came home running saying: I have the keys to the closet – I’m hired!! She also opened her private practice 6 months ago. What is her favorite thing about the FREE breastfeeding group:

Tuesday afternoon is her favorite day of the week.
It is free. They see everyone who walks in. They see about 20 couples in each 1 1/2 hour group and loves being able to help parents. It is like being padi to be an intern, but being paid because she is reimbursed for her time. Patricia is very professional and been doing this at least 25 years and she is such a great communicator, with such patience and no judgement. She takes her time and Debra loves being able to continue to work with and learn from Patricia.

Career aspirations:

Debra never would have guessed she would become an IBCLC as she certainly did not plan on it. When she attended college, she decided that since she loved food, it would be helpful to learn more about it, so she decided to major in nutrition because it seemed practical. She tells us how much fun it was to be living in a home with 13 others who each took turns cooking for the whole group. She had a food coop that she belonged to and this s shaped her life more than anything.. cooking healthy meals together with others at the age of 19 -21. She then volunteered in Israel – she planned on staying for 1 year and she stayed for 3.

Did her mother breastfeed her:

Her mother was knocked out for her delivery. She did not breastfeed her.

Debra’s breastfeeding experience:

She lived in Davis, Ca and her mom was living on Long Island. Her mom told her she should go to a real Dr. A month later at a party for her sons birth, her mom told her she should be breastfeed in the bathroom and not in front of people. Her mother just didn’t understand the breastfeeding mom, but she eventually became use to it and was fine. We enjoyed a conversation about how the publics thoughts on breastfeeding in public has changed over the years. We also talked about personal experience breastfeeding in public.

Debra read Kathleen Huggins book, Nursing Mothers Companion, which she read cover to cover. Breastfeeding was painful for her. She was not sure what she was doing wrong. She damaged her nipples, she had vasospasms, but kept nursing through the pain. Eventually his latch must have gotten deeper because it became more comfortable and she happily nurse for 13 months.

Debra remembers going to her first breastfeeding others group. Her husband remembers her coming home and saying: Well that’s horrible. Everyone loves breastfeeding except for me. I wanted others to commiserate with, but they were all doing fine . So I came home feeling even more excluded from this group of women. I remember that by the time that he was 2 months old she was no longer in pain. As an IBCLC, she now realizes that 2 months was a long time. The second time breastfeeding – it was a dream.

Weaning experience:

She nursed her first for about 13 months. She remembers saying to herself that this is a very strong willed child who loves to eat. She did not want to be the mom whose baby was snacking and getting comfort at the breast. He was eating well, not nursing at night. Debra feels that she was ready for the next phase of mothering a toddler that did not involve him deciding when he was going to eat.

She did the same with her second and has no regrets. She wanted to wean when it was easy to wean and it worked out well for her. Debra fully understands and supports a mothers decision to breastfeed as long as they like. She is happy to provide consults for moms who are interested in learning how to wean. We mentioned Katherine Havener who I previous interviewed and who wrote a book called: Nursies When the Sun shines. We both like to recommend her book.

We spend a few minutes talking about the life of a working and pumping mom. More moms are back to work and need to pump at work. We have made it very convenient for moms to pump with hands free bras and smaller and more efficient pumps. This is a positive as it has enabled more moms to provide breastmilk for longer periods of time than they use to be able to. This is good and yet, somewhat of a double edge sword as moms are multi-tasking while they are removing the milk, missing out on an opportunity to just put their feet up and relax and remove the milk.

Debra and I ponder what our lives and careers would have been like had we been a mom who pumped and returned to work, as we stayed home and exclusively breastfed our babies.

Upright and Paced feeding:

We talked about learning about pumps and learning how to bottlefeed babies as part of our training to become an IBCLC. Both of us agree that parents who are bottlefeeding babies are not learning about upright and paced feeding.

Debra talks about her private practice:

She works with a lot of moms who work in Silicone Valley and who pump exclusively. She tells us about the moms that she typically works with. Some moms start off planning on exclusively pumping. Other moms start off wanting to exclusively breastfeeding. However, if they have too much of a struggle, too many speed bumps in the early weeks and their baby is doing well with the bottle, they just stop breastfeeding. It seems that their mindset is that they are returning to work and the baby is going to continue getting a bottle, they might as well just make the switch. Moms also say that they like not having to be on their babies schedule. When moms are making enough milk, they tend to pump for a longer time. If they have low supply, the tendency is to quit pumping sooner, rather than later.

We wish we had a crystal ball to see into the future:

Debra tells me that over half of her calls are from the partners. They feel helpless and ask for her to please come help their wife. The Dads are so knowledgeable about the benefits of human milk and breastfeeding and really want to support their wife. The hardest decisions is older moms, low supply, baby does not want to latch and they have had to supplement, she is pumping, pumping, pumping and by day 21, they seem to break. They just can’t do it anymore and are asking: Is it worth it? Should I continue pumping? Some partners who do not want to give their baby formula are causing a lot of pressure on their wife to keep producing milk.

It would be great if we had a crystal ball and let moms know if all their hard work and effort will bring them to their goals. We just can’t so we can only do our best with meeting them with where they are at and support them in anyway we can.

Difference with moms who have Non-Medicated Births:

Debra has referrals from a local doula who has clients who have unmedicated births. The problems that these mothers seem to have

Advice she gives to parents who are having on-going problems

Her mentor promotes that they both be on the same page so that parents are not getting mixed messages. She strives to give accurate and consistent information to the

Tell us more about Los Gatos Lactation and what makes the services that you provide special?

Debra tells us that she is an empty nester. One is moving out next week and the other is already away in college. Her husband works full time, so she has time and flexibility to offer the parents she works with. She doesn’t time her visits and is never in a rush. This helps both of us relax and this helps to feel less like a business and more like a service that she is providing. She feels like she is a breastfeeding doula! We both agree that it would be wonderful if we could offer parents a breastfeeding hostel. A place where they could stay and be cared for and receive help with breastfeeding for the first several weeks.

Pearls of Wisdom:

Debra loves to quote me when I say: ” Breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt. Thank you Debra. Another one of my mantras is:
Each one, teach one and you certainly do with your advocacy and breastfeeding education in your community.

Contact Information:

Debra Brender
Name: Debra Brender
Phone: (408) 250-9773
E-mail: debra@losgatoslactation.com
https://www.losgatoslactation.com/services