Her Story.

Her Bio:

Alyssa is a midwife working at a Birth Center in Gilbert, AZ. She also teaches hypnobirthing to pregnant moms. She was a teacher and now loves doing out of hospital births and getting to connect with moms when they are going through a transition. She lives in Arizona with her husband and two children, a 7 year old boy named Hudson and a 5 month old daughter named Mia.

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Background:

Alyssa is originally from Missouri, and lived there while she attended college. She lived with her Mom, Dad, brother and enjoyed a happy family life. Her mom stayed home and her brother who is five years older, watched over her. She moved to Ohio with her husband. He attended  school and she was teaching. Alyssa likes the sun so they headed out to Arizona for sunnier weather. They have been here for 11 years and love living in Arizona.

Having a baby sent her on her path to midwifery. This journey started during her pregnancy., She taught first grade at the time. A little girl in her class told her that her mom had a baby in a hot tub. She thought it was crazy at first, but after getting to know her mom, who was a doula and a hypnobirthing teacher, Alyssa fell in love with the whole out of hospital birthing scene and planned a home birth with her son. She had a wonderful and calm homebirth and soon after became a doula and taught hypnobirthing classes. The next step was to become a student midwife.

Alyssa was about 25 weeks pregnant when she decided to switch care from hospital midwives  to home birth midwives. Her family just accepted this change as did her close friends.

Breastfeeding:

Alyssa figured breastfeeding was a natural thing to do. Mammals breastfeed so how hard could it be? She did not have a whole lot of friends who had babies, so she had no idea how hard it could be. She expected it to be  smooth sailing and it was anything but. Breastfeeding with Hudson was hard because he would not latch on. During an oral exam her midwife noted: Huh, he just sucks, he just bites. She remembers thinking – Oh this isn’t good. Overnight she felt anxious. She had a pump so she started pumping because all he did was chomp at the breast. Her midwife suggested she start pumping and using a syringe to feed him.

She never really could get him to do anything but chomp. She tried to suck train him but he basically “destroyed” her nipples. There was so much stress and anxiety and tears with each feeding. At about 2 weeks, she sought the help of a lactation consultant. While she was helpful, Alyssa was just not able to really get him to latch on well. There was a tongue tie that the lactation consultant noted, however, Alyssa acknowledged being pretty tired and she felt like she just could not continue. She was due back at work in a few weeks and realized that she was not bonding with her baby. She worried that whatever was wrong, that it could not be fixed. So, she decided to just pump from that point on.

We talked about the difficulties of the time constraint that moms are under when they have to return to work so soon. It is hard emotionally to spend much of this maternity leave time working on breastfeeding challenges. She pumped for 9 months, in which she had about a 2 month supply in her freezer. She was pretty much done with pumping at that point.

Her advice to breastfeeding moms:

She use to tell moms to go see a lactation consultant because she did not feel she had the knowledge to help moms with breastfeeding challenges. She felt like she failed the first time. Of course, we know that she did not fail. She would tell moms to not wait. If you are struggling, get help now. The sooner you have intervention with breastfeeding, the easier it will be.

Her second baby, Mia:

Her pregnancy and home birth went well. She latched on well and Alyssa was thrilled and felt like this is going to go well. By the 24 hour mark though, she already experienced severe nipple trauma. She noticed a tongue tie with her daughter. This time she had all great resources, so she made an appointment right away when Mia was 3 days old. It turns out that she had a lip tie, tongue tie and a buccal tie. Immediately after the revisions, it felt so much better. Alyssa had no idea that it would take so long for breastfeeding to become easy. Her daughter’s revision was done soon after birth, however, her muscles were weak and it took quite a few weeks for her to become a really strong breastfeeder.

Personal pressure:

She was able to bring her baby to work and was very happy about this. She did not like pumping and was hoping to avoid it this time.
She had visions of bringing her baby to work and feeding her with a bottle. This is not the appearance she wanted to have with her clients. So she put a lot of pressure on herself to be breastfeeding well by the time she returned to work. Alyssa had worked with plenty of families who had babies with ties and after the revisions it seemed to be a quick turn around and expected that to happen to her too. She was upset to find out that this was not to be the case with her.

She tends to gloss over those first 6 weeks because she wants to forget about it. If it was hurting too much or she was not actively nursing, she would take her off and pump. While she was pumping, her baby was crying and this made Alyssa feel bad. Cleaning the bottles and the pump parts takes time. The process of nursing then pumping then bottle feeding is very tiring and this is how your whole day goes. This whole process was hard because she felt stuck and could not go out of the house. It was also difficult because she did not know if all this hard work and effort would result in a baby that was breastfeeding well.

The support that she received:

At some of her lowest points, she reached out on Facebook and asked for moms to share with stories of struggles and how it went for them. She heard of so many stories from moms who told her to keep going and to give it about 6 weeks and breastfeeding will get better. She told herself that these are strong women and if they could keep going, then she could do this too! She counted the sucks and the swallows and celebrated all the successes. Finally, she seemed to gain enough strength to have a full feeding. She was almost afraid to acknowledge a full day of feedings as she feared  if she said it out loud, things would go backwards.

Alyssa is grateful for the support of her lactation consultants. She saw one for the tongue tie and then continued care with a lactation consultant who lived closer to her. They kept in close touch and based on feedback, the care plan would change. Alyssa was glad for her regular help and encouragement.  Having her lactation consultant celebrate the positive changes was a huge help for her. One day her midwife Sarah said to her: “Babies want to breastfeed”. This helped Alyssa so much as she was very concerned that her baby may not fully breastfeed or that she would become accustomed to drinking from the bottle.

The support she received from other moms who have suffered through some breastfeeding challenges was very helpful to Alyssa and they really helped her get through the hard times. She feels that having an IBCLC, along with a good support system of friends and family is very important.

Current Practice:

As a doula, Alyssa felt like her hands were tied. She saw things that she felt needed to be handled differently. She did not like feeling like she had no control over certain situations. Alyssa also began having dreams of catching babies. In her dreams, she was at births that were quite complex and in her dreams she always knew what to do. When she started to pursue midwifery, friends and family were surprised that she sought this out because she doesn’t like the sight of blood. However, Alyssa explained that birth is different as it is not an illness.

Alyssa started pursuing midwifery through the Birth Haven Birth Center which is owned by Alison her midwife. She apprenticed under her and the other midwives. Once she became a midwife, she started her own private practice and once the Birth Center had an opening, Alison hired her on as a midwife. The midwives do the majority of births at the Birth Center. They also have clients who are having home births. Alyssa explains what a birth center is and how it differs than a hospital birth. Mia goes to work with her and she really likes that.

Pearls of Wisdom:

Alyssa suggests to prepare for postpartum support, during your pregnancy. Alyssa suggests putting together a group of friends and family and experts that you can count on. This group can offer you help with the household chores, help with meals and to help with breastfeeding. Early breastfeeding can be challenging and postpartum can be tiring. New Mothers need help postpartum.

Links

https://www.auroramidwife.com/
https://www.birthhavenbirthcenter.com/